Second Coming

One day I want to be really great. I want to write every day and live in a place that inspires me to take pictures of everything, even of the stairs to the subway. I want to be able to cook dinners for my friends in a small flat in Paris, maybe asparagus and lemon, and serve it in mismatched plates on a street lit balcony. I want to learn more languages and meet a boy who reads more than he talks and have babies whose scrapes I'll kiss. 

My friends say that it's bad to constantly want, that it only brings unfulfilled yearning into a life easily satisfied with acceptance. But isn't it great to want more? To strive for something outside of what you've already accomplished? It's so beautiful and vulnerable that humans want.

Two years ago I was really sad and I turned away from a lot of things I loved, including this blog. This site which proved to me that it is possible to wholeheartedly love strangers. When I type I erase a lot of my thoughts because it's so hard to verbalize what came naturally a long time ago. Sometimes it hurts. I think it's rusty fingers along with unexplained thoughts. It makes me sad but it also makes me want to return back to that girl with so many ideas and a lot of love, love for everything.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about the future of this blog; where I want to go with it. In a way it really is a reflection of me and what I've been doing for the past six years. I've thought about the things I've done in the past that make me happier today and I realized that cutting out this site wasn't one of them. I miss writing and I want to make this site into the little home it used to be, the home with a single bed and table but a lot of books and big windows. A little fixing up and we'll almost be back to new.

xx, T.